Some Food for thought........

A beginning marks the growth of everything , anything new. Smaller than the tiniest fraction of a second, the beginning is essential to all thinking ,all growth process. All processes have a stop where nothing of it moves further.
Its like living in the exile ,when your stomach is burning then nothing remains respected .Living with no options open is like living at somebody's mercy. Where the domination of a human being is not by his interiors , rather a suppression of it by other human beings.
Different dimensions have been assigned in the last decade for life. Doing for nothing attitude is wiped out entirely out of mind for most. Though the desire for work or action pressurises from inside, inability tumbles due to our external factors. Anybody experiencing such traumatic conditions is bound to lose confidence . He / she might even lose trust and respect for relations.
But the human force within is transcendentally strong and always springs hope eternally. The general good is achieved with much perseverance and patience. That's why the world has many good souls who work for the common good.

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I personally believe life is not an escape. But having an escape root is a must in some situations............
But Life is not an escape route skidding you into an endless

Walking.......

We walked as if there are no destinations that would satisfy us , but then we never bothered about the destination as long as we were together. Sometimes a walk becomes as essential to take off my inner turmoil out. Freedom from compromises , to find a place where the road never ended as long as i had the energy to walk. Freedom to express myself without words and she would undersatnd me. Yes, where she would understand me without me having to tell her.
.......
Was it walking that mattered or was it the time, the time that we spent together........
It was the time of the day that was most precious.


We kept walking with no destinations in our minds....

Unseen Love

I used to get only one off in the week and that was the Sunday. Come Sunday and I will have so much to do that I normally end up doing nothing but idling. I would be washing the piles of clothes that lay, cook up my day’s food and listen to my favorite disc in my player.
But now a days , one more schedule has been added in the day. She would call and ask me if I am free on Sundays, her call would come in the morning,"Are you free today?”she waits . I say "Not yet!"
“Any programs! Why don’t we go out together. If you don’t mind”.
She would be living with her roomy in a flat, next to the market junction. Whenever we agree for a meeting , i will normally go to her place and wait . Normally she might be ready and eagerly waiting for me at the gates.Its easy to get a taxi from there. She knew the places very well and knew exactly where the best restaurants are in town,where the sunday is best spent , where the cinema is and which language it runs the movie...Huh ,i thought of keeping quiet when the driver enquired where to go ,though i have been living here for years my world of movement was the road to my office and to the railway station. Hmmm........

She was right..........

A point that came up during our meetings was regarding her respect for money.
She kept telling me “I like money more than anything, I think it’s more valuable than humans”.
“Hmm, you know why?” She will answer it after a thought, with a lot of confidence that she gathered from her experience in the past life.
And I will be wondering, why she has to think so much…Her hazel eyes reflect and shine , deep into them is the core of her thought.
Then she would continue,”because,we can trust money more than a human. If we have money, we can do anything”.
"Anything..." i replied .
..........
As it was written in a book "Without money a man's head is always kept down thinking ,If he is got money then his head is held high".

Unseen Love..........

We went to the dancing bowl during one of the weekends. She has been insisting that we go there one of the weekends. She liked it very much. The music played there is slow and romantic. It makes you feel lost out in the crowd.
I held her arms in my arms when we were talking . It was music all around and dim lit candles swayed to lighten up sparsely. She asked me "Are you coming ,give me your hand".
...
She danced and tapped to the song played. Her energy increased as she danced. She was drenched in sweat. I was there watching her dance from a distant seat.
In between she would gesture and would ask me "Did u do this ever? Fun right".
I knew i did it too when alone.
"This is so much fun! I can go on for all night .I feel so much energy" She exclaimed.
I watched her.
"I feel so free" she shouted and wanted me to join. I looked at her.
"Come on. Why dont you say something !" She wanted to hear me say.
In our conversations she says the most.I always listen and go on listening.She had so much to say and i loved to listen. As if my ears were hungry .........
"Tell me what do you want me to say" I asked her.
She finished and was tired...
...
"Say anything ! I love whatever you say"she leaned on to me. Nose to my Chest, she felt safe in my arms.
"I love you " ,I wishpered in her ears
"How much "
"Too much "
"Like"
I spread my arms wide and exclaimed ,"This much"
"I love You"

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" To love somebody whom you have never seen even once ...Isnt it pure love"

If Love marriages Fail..........

Why do love marriages fail compared to arranged ones ?

Possessiveness..............

She asked me "Are you possessive ?". I wondered whether i was one...how do you know that you are possessive ....
Is it good to be possessive in a Love relation?

Some words for the Romeo who thinks ........

One of my friends told me about an incident that happened a few days ago..............
I am just spreading light on the incidence that mattered to me because there was a lot of
misconception ....................

AP.........

Well how much could i give her in love , my hearts testimony, some of the dreams and the beautiful thoughts about her, the smile that flashed on my face when she swung in my thoughts,
these and a few more melodies that my mind sang when she danced in my month of love....

Naoko left AP forever..........

AP is the writer himself and assumes that his story has no coincidence with anybody ........if so
he thinks its purely coincidental.........................................

It was a rainy day in the month of June. Rains bring cheer in the hearts of few , tears in the eyes of many, some get wet when it rains , some get swept when it rains.......................
AP was recollecting everything with a heavy heart, years after he lived to be himself.

"But months later when i felt the impulse, i feel she could have been with me for ever"......He was talking about the pains that sprouted out of him after she left him... "She was too close to have left me,i knew she was strong". She would say ,"We part one day, i would leave you and live in a different world..."
She would say at other times," I am not the smartest girl , not the best for you, you are so sweet, you will get the most beautiful one,who will love you .....".
And I will stop her "Will you please ......Is there anything else to talk about ... "I thought she never felt like anything saying them. Then why would she say such heartless things.
"Yep we may part and you will be so happy" ,I reply in a choler tone. I knew my heart would have been broken by now already and it must have cursed me for not saying whats there in my mind. Hmm.... "
... .. . "Months later .i felt that she was weakened before me,she would lean back on to me and tell me...Opening her weaker emotions and splashing out "
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"I have seen her gentlest being, which yelled out for love,it was like a lamb..."
She came to our company , for a one year contract.And the contract was the same like the ones written prior to it...................................... She joined our company in the month of April as the new Japanese teacher, who would teach Japanese language and their culture to our staff.
It was a great oppurtunity to learn something new. It was meant to be a preliminary cultural exchange program .As our company had overseas tie up with Japan ,we thought of a brighter future with such an interaction. That would mean greater job chances and better life standards. Our company used to place most of our staff in Tokyo and Nagoya.
To be able to work in Japan , the person must know the native japanese characters and kanji otherwise life there is going to be difficult.
So for a japanese aspirant like me, learning japanese was the only option. I enrolled for the classes .
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And during these Japanese study classes that we could come to know the Japanese more closer. I could understand them much more closely. This probably was going to be the beginning of a new relation in my life….At first we were more like strangers, a cluster of seven students who will be learning a new language with total awe .. But my interest in learning a new language and a culture grew up because of the opportunities it had for my future. The dreams of a job abroad with a promise for a brighter life,

AP.......

Walking side by side on almost evenings ,they used to talk about anything that came to their mind. She would wait for the evening . It was a beautiful wait for him too. It was this wait that intensified the desire to be together...brought them more closer......

Walking............

We walked as if there are no that destinations would satisfy us....................
Was it walking that mattered or was it the time, time that we spent together........
WasWe walked as if there are no destinations would satisfy us....................
Was is the talk that i yearned to listen and share.........
It was something that i could depend upon and forget myself.......

AP ..

Hmm..........

Pyaroo...........

Here is the pet name of my friend............

What my friend had to say...

"There are times when you have to stop loving someone, not because you started hating them,but because you realize that they would be much more happier,if you let them go."

Daffodils .....TEARS

When She Called him last night , he was soaked in tears. She said she was suffering from pain.
“An intoxication of Pain has taken over me, Pain intoxicates me, my emotions were dead for a moment…” she said. He was having a glass of beer then when she called me . She liked to share the drink with him. “Please talk to me , I will intoxicate you” she said. Her emotions came out loud and voluminous. He never know any other lady in this world who is so perfect ,despite her imperfections. She is aware of her selves, she suffers from pain.They were never mere flesh for each other. That never swayed their relationship. In the chill of the night ,his spine trembled with fear, he could feel tears drying out in his ears.
“Can we share a drink , ever ?”She asked. “Its difficult right now, but I want it right now” she exclaimed. How helpless she was, even he was no less helpless.
“We will one day ” he said as if he were finding a treasure of hope in despair.
Then he thought to himself “I know most others , who think of being mere meat soup running around. All are carried away by the smell of flesh, We are mere flesh for competition. We are interested in grabbing a piece of another, even we snatch those pieces from others when we are hungry”
He wanted to get more intoxicated with alcohol, but her pain solemnized him for a longer time. He could ever go on drinking and still be normal, as if she came to hold him in her arms. Then he realized how futile it be if he keeps on searching solace in intoxication. He thought ,"Well they are in her, in me, everything is in us." They need to find that ,As long as he keep on talking to her he can fuel his inner self.
The need for flesh is a seed for vengeance, it generates and separates human beings . There is a strong desire of possession , its like a greed for flesh. The strongest example is a "Battle for Sex". The result is a turmoil in mind. Any Relationship that is devoid of a possession is going to last longer and sweeter. Its a fountain of energy. .....

Wait for my next series on Anand and his love........

Hmm........
There was a guy called Anand. He was alone and walked the streets without a partener.

Moonlit...........

"My mood was under her influence,then i looked out of the door ,i
could see her impressively beautiful standing bathed in the moonlight ,the rays
reflected of her bosom and navel." i stood their for a while ,gazing.There was silence around.and it was dark in my room.The only white object was the taj "oh! darling ,it is so beautiful" She just came from the shower. We both were looking at the taj
mahal from our hotel room ,I knew that the taj mahal is one of the most romantic monuments on earth,when moonlight
falls on her,she looks so beautiful like a glowing white jewel . Bathed in milk. I will fantasy this way,i go to delhi from cochin with my belowed .Then she has
this plan of seeing the taj dipped in white moon light.My lover is a romantic
lady. I know she can be turned on with this visit. And this could be a treat for
her, me and lover slowly walk towards the taj.Hand in hand, touching and feeling
each other
From the far, a glow has filled around.I think what the great emperor Shah

Jahan had in his mind when he decided to build the taj,Was it a present to his

belowed. was it a testimonial to their love. or something else.

किसी ने लिखा ...शायद दिल को चोट पहुचाई...

एक अंधी लडकी थी । उसे उसके एक दोस्त के अलावा सबने ठुकरा दिया था । पर वो दोस्त उससे बहुत प्यार करता था । लडकी रोज़ उससे ये कहती कि अगर वो उसे देख पाती तो उसी से शादी करती । एक दिन किसी ने उस लडकी को अपने आंखे दे दीं । जब वो देख सकने लगी तो उसने देखा की उसका वह दोस्त अंधा था । दोस्त ने उससे पूछा की क्या अब वो उससे शादी करेगी ? लडकी ने साफ़ इनकार कर दिया । इस पर उसका दोस्त मुस्कुराया और चुप चाप उसे एक कागज़ देकर चला गया । उसपर लिखा था -

Traffic Condition

The city's traffic condition is so bad that it takes around an hour to move from south to kaloor.....the incident that happened to suresh is an example of how cruel and bad our traffic system is . The race is not against time but against death and friction .We are lucky to see him back in our office.

Roses

My heart filled with love , i thought it might burst.............

The First Salary of satoshi........

When the Japanese staff come to work in India ,they face many difficulties to make it out right here. One of the major problems they face is the huge cultural difference they find outstanding...in spite of it they always show a very high level of friendliness and adaptability. I hope the same happens if Indians go to other countries for living and earning. They become mature and start taking up responsibilities.
There were always four Japanese vacancies in our organisation ,when i came here it was ... two for men and two for ladies. We as staff and as friends have been interacting with these ambassadors of Japanese culture, trying to imbibe new and astonishing features of Japanese culture. One of the most important and vocal point that our staff makes invariably,is the hard working and persevering ability of the Japanese.
I was lucky to be a part of this team.
But this time , two youngsters came. One of them was Satoshi Nakagaawa, i call him Sato for a closer relation. "He seems to be so sweet " exclaimed a friend of mine. I knew she was right. He is in fact sweet . Japanese language system is one of the most complicated features of their culture and heritage. Learning their language was a...........

He looked at me and cried ,

He was crying all through out the night, was drunk and smelt the human sweat adulterated with alcohol when he talked to me. He told me that she called him sometime back when he was out of the office.
She asked him,"He proposed to me.What should i answer?" .They were having a talk over the cell. She works in a huge firm and earns much better.She seems to be settled. But his settled heart was broken and he broke down. Crying is never optional then, it was uncontrollable............

Typical office chat............

Chris ::raavile meeting enthai
Jose :what ?
Chris ::with kato ?cabinil kayarunathu kandu
Jose : hmm..meeting ..enthu parayaana........
Chris ::Ennittu nee innale pants medicho?
Jose:oh atho athu pulli edkaku work entha cheyunne ennu ariyan villikunnatha...
yaa innalle njan orennam vangi. kollam good one...

Chris ::ethrayi ehtu color
>Rs.490.. black shade

Chris ::company ?? Ethu kada
>hmm company i m not remember... from grafity

Chris ::cool! pakshe kollamaayirikkum alleda..
orennam enne medikkanam ennu vichaarikkunnu.......
Joseph ::ya that is the prob .... atha njan kure kalam aayi medikannam ennu vicharikunnu pinne oru kariyam manassilayi nammuku nammude pressanagal illathakan pattilla we should over come that.... if want somthing njan athu cheyannam.... god will help me to do....

''
Chris ::....problemsinu oru end um varaan pokunnilla
they will always be there ..
ini ippo athonnum vichaarichittu kaaryamilla
Chris ::wat giri say
>onnum parajilla... ippol oru interview letter vannittundu njan athu nokuva
;;
evidunna Giri de Aano atho vere
athu annalllu vannathu polathe oru letter aannu from Symphony Services

He Gave her his Jacket........

And he clung to it , to feel her . Will she ever return back!........

Daffodils ....An Escape

After coming here She came to know about the exam schedule.Due to the indefinite strike exams stand postponed. She had to think about how to spend the day, He (...) gave her company for the whole day.He didnt present much problems and was coming out with jolly conversations.They went to the gardens near the city' s lone dam,a tourist spot , tourists flock their especially during the summer vaccations.It was april and they had good time. There were spots where one can sit and be lost in thoughts with no distractions from the out, there might be a tree which would provide shade and its underneath nothing but tender grass spreads in a thin layer ,fills the lawn like a sheet.The lawns are watered properly to keep the green lush and leafy. A survey of the marshy land soothes your eyes ,ripples played on the surface of the water that seem to be swallow near the shore. She was comfortable to find the same spot again left vaccant ,so she was happy to express concerns about other things freely.The resting place ,,may be the hiding place , losing yourself place, makes it so special that we tend to personalise and start possessing it, finding such a hiding place was so important, it was to escape from the external world where you are an object of speculation to the one that is eternal where you are lost even in the crowd.
She expressed her concern over the dying condition of the lake,she was watching it as she spoke about the past four years ....................
He was listening and making available her the most patient ears, he was absorbed .
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The evening drooped in bringing the garden lights on..............
It was a long awaited conversation ,evening was the best time for a recoup . Hot weather always kills the hopes of a traveller ,along with sweat,heat and discomfort ..dust becomes a nuisance. But now she felt fresh....................
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Now the atmosphere has calmed itself with the sun moving down. The fresh smell of water pouring on to the dry soil generated a tingly feeling. She could find no other safer place in the world now. "How nice it would be if i could talk and you sit and listen unmoved.." said she. The lights were brighter towards the Dam resorvoir and there was some mmusic going on. Dancing lights played in tune with the notes of the accompanying music, they were colored and made the sorroundings colorful.
People flocked all around the podium ,and faithfully sat down to usher a crack of topics. There was noise all around of human chatter. But it all looked so well matched that they felt like coming back there where they could snatch a free time. She wanted to feel the air, and stood up with the wind blowing across her face blowing her hair gently. He watched her strecthing her arms and kept watching her. "How much i love you,how can i tell you?" he wishpered to himself and he could hear it clearly.
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Some years ago he went to her home to see her grandmother. But the trip materialised only after a lot of planning.It was a village in the interior region.Her father lived in there along with his sister(her Appachi) now she is a widow ,in their parental home taking care of their ailing old mother.
Her grandma turned 86 last week. Entirely covered by wrinkles ,her body is never left with any
spot unwrinkled. Her eyesight disappeared long years back and the only contact she had with the outside world is her hearing And shouting at her meant the only it worked. The river behind their home flows slowly ,dragging sluggishly the little amount of water it had. Small bunds have been created here and then to collect enough water for human usage in the drought period....which are a common happening every year.

On the contrary , the atmospohere inside the room was very cool and soothing

Unseen Love .....................

She springs in me the blooms of a season , for her thoughts are so sweet .......
She has not spread the wings , of the most tender breeze blew to bring her...
She is there , did i not feel her when her thoughts filled my mind.....................

they need care and love....

B: I think we should got to a orphanage and spend some time there ...
A: hmm..right. You know sometimes ,I think i am an orphan
no one needed me because i had some bad qualities....
nobody liked me , then I felt lost out ,left alone as if i am an orphan and a beggar........

B :No !! You have a family,
think about a person who has nobody to say mom or dad..
if u say u r an orphan, i vll kill u.
A : You r right :)
No man i am not saing that i am an orphan .
Isnt it wrong to say when there are so many people who are destitutes and orphans.........
I have almost everything that a human being needs............
bcos my needs are so less .enough is there with me......
but i know the sadness to an extent , undergone when u r left alone...
I know that those people whom i call orphan are actually much more stronger than me...
if they had something extra than what they had ....
their life would have been different..........
i am lucky that i am not an orphan
i am lucky that i can feel the pains of a sad human , helpless to convey himself.
But we will go man to see them......


B: Dont think about our weakness. if we feel we are weak,
then how can we tell to others "be bold"??

A: Hmm.. I am weak I know that from inside
But i can be as strong as the coconut shel from the out
then i am ready to face anything
then i can become the strongest
But we will go man to see them......

B: here, never think about ourself. here we need a mind to meet them
you are strong man. i know it..

A: We have the mind to see them and now some time is required
If u wanna show yr love to anybody or anything You need to take out time for it........
if u spend a caring time with someone thats the real gift for them ....
not caring whether they care or not............
thats how we show we love them...

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B: Do we need to have some money with us to go there so that can be gifted for their welfare.
A: Wont that be a good thing if we can spend time with them .............about the money ..hmm we need to have a good amount of it...
B :Can we not go and watch an orphanage from the outside ?
A: why not ! we can do that too as long as we don't have enough money to donate..
B: Hmm
A: I used to go to a temple near my home called Oachira where there are hundreds of old men and women come and live ,not like orphans the orphanage still the temple is inhabited by homeless people, I used to see them once in a month ......sometimes i had money but mostly never had money..
so would sit in between them and feel them
B :Why dont we use the blog to collect the money???
Open an account and we too involve it
A:How can we use it

sad

When one of my friends told me that we are going to part soon I was sad. I felt that i am gonna lose a friendship that was home in my heart ,we stood together in the dark dimly lit frontal of a shop on the first floor of a huge shopping complex. It was 7 in the evening , sunday evenings are always lazy and slow.We could feel that in the sorroundings. The evenings are a buzzling time for shopping activities.
It has been a cloudy day and the day was dull with lot of thoughts........we stood there facing the dim lights of the Supermarket. She told me ,"I am not going home the coming weekends , will be here"
I was sad bcos i felt as if i will be alone

Fear............................

When we fear that we are going to lose a precious thing, we feel sad . Sadness then has to be related to the possession of things.

A confrontation......

ANGER.......... Anger is an impulsive reaction to an unprecedented situation in which z human being is momentarily placed. An example has been cited below....................
Patience is an asset to possess.It may not cost in millions and pays back ten fold. But not all manage to keep it with them and discard it too early.People who have great success in life ,time and again proved the significance of patience.They showed us that without patience nothing could be achieved worthwhile in this mortal world .
Let me cite an example , this happens almost daily in their home. She is a typical housewife who possibly thinks one should win out of every situation.She would ask her husband ,"Dont you feel ashamed of yourselves of being a failure"
He replied "What can I do?That is the reality!" That was a rude reply .
"This is the root cause of your failure ,my dear,you behave too rude to show your deeds.Nothing is greater than Heavens !! Fear the God!"
"You are the laziest guy, the most useless fellow i have ever seen. Still you are so proud" ,She was virtually like trembling with anger.One could feel the curse in her words.
With this level of conversation going on ,his level of patience decreased and his animosity emerged. He angered in a split second , he was rude. Oncethe temper is breached ,personal good and common good is not seen. Then you shower out words which are entirely spitting venom from the inside. If there were any to be spitted, they look for a vent and oust right at such junctures.

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Every possible curse, hidden subdued words and expressions flung in succession. One can feel the incosistency of human relations in a situation which peels of the skin from your body .
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We owe a very small life extending upto a meagre multiple of few tens ,but even that small and mediocre span of life can be made and lived exemplerary and immortalised. It is not important how long we live but the fact that how we lived is significant.