1 March 2002..................

            The days are arid and windy ,  especially during the morning the winds blow very fast. Most of the coconut trees in the area have their leaves turned to the west because of the continuous winds for three months. These strong winds blow from the east to the west forcing the leaves and the plants to bend to the west along with the wind.

Staying in an arid climate means extra strain on the body . Extreme climatic conditions is often very punishing .

But evenings i would prefer to walk with ram when the breeze is calm and the temperature is  low enough to soothe the body. There are the usual temple chants that linger and envelope the evenings  till i reach ram's residence. Evening s are prayer times in the temples when devotees gather up for a Darshan(Darshan means the Holy view of the Deity [Idol of the God] in the temple for which the devotees gather up inside a temple) .  I normally prefer to have the Darshan in the morning when the crowd is less and the atmosphere is very calm with stillness of the morning air. But here in this part the mornings are often too windy. Which makes me miss the morning temple visits  in my home town.  I was thinking about so many things when i walk.

hmmm........

People make it up for the evening , some do shopping , some meet friends , some walk like me . You can see a lot of people once in a while when i pass the junctions. 

I pass the streets slowly . I wont do it often , but i love walking in  the cooler evenings of the summer season  . Its a different feeling to walk. If you walk alone you make up for you own world and your imagination brings in characters whom you love to interact with.

But if you are with somebody you may always have the physical confidence of a partner with you. Thats how i strengthen relations , a walk can make a difference....

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    Ram's (Ram is a close friend of mine) calling me sissy for all reasons. He ,it seems that, is annoyed by my behavior. I would normally annoy everybody ,even surprisingly myself.  Ironically he called me a good man and added  a cliche that I am not a person made for this place. According to him ,I am not made for anything wrong. "People make you a fool,why not?" He says often. In fact it gives me a widening answer  too. I say to myself,"Think about it!!"

   He got angry ,"You are like a girl !" . I didnt get him. "You take revenge like a jealous girl, feel bad for every reason" ,ram opened up.

   

  "They cry for all reasons, you too do the same". Met ram in the evening. Wanted to drink a tea from his home. But he refused and said that we have a tea from olavakkode.  Well he seems to be troubled and behaved very polish and formal. We were walking together but he never faced my face even once . I used to put the topics when we ran out of them, I was talking about the Gujarat Violence. "Gujarat violence is deepening ,both the communities are heading for a tussle of war" He would walk straight without paying attention to what i said. It was as if I had the prerogative to continue the talk as long as we had the walk.

  "Hey what do you say about the All India Strike?" I asked him

"Its good " he said

  When you find that the days are going past hay ward but nothing works out. Its like weeks pass by easily but to pass the day is a gigantic task

 I put the Wishcraft exercises with sunil . Thanks to sunil,  he helped me get the food. Yesterday after 4 pm ,he left for home. I was sitting all alone there at spectrum, its the lodge name where we stayed.

 Doing nothing at all, I found plenty of time. I hate it. Some works should keep you occupied. That keeps you mentally active. I dreamt about what happened yesterday during the lulls in our walk. Sometimes i even day dream during our walk, i start visualizing a happy and a satisfying future.

 Walked in the Olavakkode street with my friend, Ram, till late night . Having left with no money, I slept without any food . This happened for the next four days. I knew the hypocrisy 

behind my acts.

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The next morning I got up too early, without food the sleep system seems to fail everytime to fill its course. Its even harder to go into sleep when your tummy is empty. I sometimes .......

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I was thinking about a guy called Cherian , whom  i met in the train last week. Cherian is working with Toyota. He married his colleague and were working in the same department. I met him at the door of the compartment ( Bogie of the train) , where he was consoled by two men, who seemed to be his friends. He was standing in a dilemma.  After watching them I learnt that he lost his money bag , a purse containing valuable cards when he used the toilet (loo of the train). 

The purse had his ID Cards, bank cards and important numbers. It also had the keys of the company research room.  He was indeed worried . But after  about an hour's conversation , i could easily get  closer to him. 

 He was a well mannered person by temperament who loved human values and traditions more than money.He too seems to be crazy like me , as i made it up. 

 He was talkative about an experiment  which he observed during the manufacture of emergency lamps. The experiment showed him how a wireless transmission can be used for electricity. 

The effect was well versed within 50 cms of the experimental device. And he talked so much about his experiments.He seems to be a freak and who always enjoyed life. 

Though i loved going and watching the experiment myself, that was probably out of my dreams . He promised me a written account of all his experiment details. After going back to my room I think of writing to him asking for more details.....................